It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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