does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
