Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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