Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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