yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
