She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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