You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
