I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
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