look no pants
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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