there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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