She is in my trunk
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
