I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
