Apparently you make a good broom.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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