How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
