I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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