Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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