you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
