if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
