so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
