Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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