So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
