sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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