she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
