So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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