I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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