I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
