Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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