Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
