I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I would fuck him just for his dog
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
