I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
