I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
