I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
