I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He shit in the fireplace
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
