So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize