for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
