then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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