I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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