So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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