Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
