Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
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I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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