I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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