you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize