I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have feelings that need drinking.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
