i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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