Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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