its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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