false alarm. still invincible.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
