Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
