We won't sleep together?
My first STD was from a foam party
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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