The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
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You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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