Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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