Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
