Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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