a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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