I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Barsexuality is the new black.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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