It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
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