Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
