How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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