I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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