Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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